Showing posts with label Marriage & Relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marriage & Relationship. Show all posts


OPENING PRAYER: Father, please let torment and fear be chased out of our marriages through the power of the Holy Spirit in Jesus' name.

BIBLE PASSAGE : 1 Corinthians 13:1-13
1.Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
2.And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
3.And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
4.Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
5.Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
6.Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
7.Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
8.Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
9.For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.
10.But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
11.When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
12.For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
13.And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.
MEMORY VERSE: "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love". 1 John 4:18.
In the previous lesson, we learnt about erotic/sexual love and friendship love as being crucial for a successful marriage. We shall further consider two(2) types of love that must be practiced in godly marriage. These are 'affectionate' love and 'sacrificial/1 Corinthians 13:1-13 love.
TEXT REVIEW : 1 Corinthians 13:1-13* "- "NO SUBSTITUTE
The following are not substitute for charitable love:
i. Speaking in tongues of men and angels Vs. 1
ii. Gift of prophecy. Vs. 2
iii. Understanding of mysteries. Vs 2
iv. All knowledge. Vs 2
v. All faith. Vs 2
vi. Welfare grace or philanthropy. Vs 3
vii. Sacrifice of body. Vs 3
Those who claim to have genuine love based on the above parameters had better understood that their bases for love was

NOTHING Vs 2 and Vs 3. They are "nothing" because:
i. Prophecy will fail. Vs 8
ii. Speaking in tongue will cease. Vs 8
iii. Knowledge shall vanish away. Vs 8
The true and lasting thing which does not fail is charity. Therefore, those who do not want to fail should embrace charity Vs 9-10
i. Greek word translate "storge" as Affectionate love .
ii. It is a familiar love that must be practically shown among couples, children and extended family members. Gen.
13:8-9, Ruth 1:16
iii. It is the care and concern that binds families together and which fosters unity against all odds. Gen. 14: 14-16; 34:1-7, 25-27; Exodus 2: 2-8
iv. It strengthens the family ties during suffering and heartache 1 Sam. 1:4-8.
v. It is the supportive love which must be demonstrated in the lines of losses or victory, failure, or success, sickness or sound health, sadness and joy, disappointment or achievement, etc. Luke 8:41-42, 49-55.
vi. It is a love that builds up trust and safety in marriage.
CLASS ACTIVITY 1: What is the relevance of "storge" to marriage?
i. Agape describes love that comes from God who is God of love..
ii. God demonstrates his love to sinners by allowing the Lord Jesus to die for us. Rom. 5:8
iii. When a man truly loves God and holds on to his God and despises others such man has demonstrated Agape love. Matt. 6:24.
iv. A husband who truly loves his wife as Christ loves the church is said to exhibit Agape love. Eph. 5:25-31.
v. Agape love is unconditional love which stands and remains when other types of love quits, and when there is no reason to do so.
vi. Agape love is described as charitable love. 1 Cor. 13:1-13.
vii. Agape love still continues despite the shortcomings or faults of our mates.
vii. Agape love gives sacrificially and holds the couple together till death do them part. 1 John 3:16; John 13:1.
CLASS ACTIVITY 2: Identity the characteristics of Agape love.

"Storge" is affectionate "Agape" is charitable.
A marriage without the presence and commitment of Storge (support and care) and Agape love may be on the express lane to heartbreak.
Mention four (4) characteristics of "storge" and "Agape" each.
Father, help couples to love each other to the end.
Differentiate in five (5) points between "storge" and "Agape".

1. O Sunday School, on the Lord's day,
O how I love Thee well,
I am happy, it makes me glad
To rejoice at Thy birth.
2. O Sunday School, on the Lord's day,
Thy friend friendship suits me well,
Both young and old will sing Thy song,
We long for Sunday School.
3. O Sunday School, on the Lord's day,
Christ was Thy first teacher,
The Holy Spirit, great teacher,
Does manifest in thee.
4. O Sunday School, on the Lord's day,
This testimony is sure,
That God, the Father Almighty,
Poured His blessing on Thee.
5. O Sunday School, on the Lord's day,
Though the sun be so bright,
Or if the clouds be black with rain,
I'll be in Sunday School.
6. O Sunday School, on the Lord's day,
I rejoice to see Thee,
Will thou pass over me today?
Without my being blest?

Reference: RCCG Sunday School Teacher's Manual, Lesson Nineteen (19) , 2018/2019 Edition.

Causes of Marriage Delay in Some Single Sisters

There are some factors which is referred here as spirit that has made many single sisters from getting the right man. Here comes six areas or spirit why many single sisters are yet to get a suitable life partner;
  • Denominational/tribal spirit:  I'm a Catholic and must marry a
Catholic. Your villagers are really at work. I'm a deeper lifer and must marry one whose life is also deep. I'm a Chosen and must marry from Chosen because others were rejected . I'm an Anglican and must marry an Anglican even if God is leading me to do otherwise. I'm from Hausa tribe and must marry from my tribe. I'm from Imo and must not marry from Abia. If you have prayed and convinced don't hesitate to go ahead.

This spirit has kept many bound, they entered menopause and are about to retire to village. To cast out this spirit of delay, understand that every believer is from one tribe called Christ. If God is leading you to another denomination,  kindly obey Him, but let it be God.

  • Proud spirit:  That spirit that tells you to always run home
after service so that no brother will talk to you, maybe he'll meet you in the dream. Before the brother would prepare what to say, you have gone home to study Malachi.

That spirit that tells you that every brother that greets you has an evil intention, so don't answer them. That spirit that doesn't allow you to greet brothers except those that ride cheap and exotic cars. That spirit that tells you to be walking fast every time as if something is pursuing you from the back. Well, I don't know how you can cast out this spirit o, but I think humility and being moderate might help.

  • Dirtiness. That spirit that tells you not to dress well because
you are going to heaven. It tells you to use tarpaulin to sew your dress, wear green skirt, yellow blouse and lemon head tie. When brothers see you, their nightmare will increase and they will go for personal deliverance. You are a lady but dresses like a man; you don't brush your tongue, when you talk the heaven closes and the earth trembles.

This spirit can only be cast out by understanding that cleanliness is next to godliness. Dress well, don't under dress and don't over dress. Dress modestly, smell good because it's not sin. Smell like a living being and not a dead being. Jesus appreciated the woman that broke the oil that smells good and truly He enjoyed the aroma. So which Jesus did you actually accept that abhors such?

  • Boy friend: This is that spirit that will keep scaring away
serious and well-meaning suitors because they'll be thinking that the boyfriend that always hangs around you actually wanted to marry you. To cast out this spirit, you don't need to pray about it. Just quit the relationship.

  • Engagement ring: This is that spirit that makes you keep
raising your finger to show the world that one young man that is still serving the master engaged you and when the serious suitors see the ring, they'll pass over you because something in them tells them you have been engaged. To cast out this spirit, you don't need prayers, just remove that key holder in your finger.
  • Hard to get: This is that spirit that tells you not to accept a
marriage proposal in a hurry so that the brother will not think you were too cheap or desperate. It tells you to tell him to give you six months to pray, don't always pick his calls, behave as if you are not interested even though you are dying on the inside and truly loves the brother.

To cast out this spirit, just be real. If you love the brother and you perceive he's God's will for you, just accept the proposal and move on with your marriage.


Father, let true and genuine love flow in all our marriages.

MEMORY VERSE: "My little children, let us not love in work, neither in tongue; but indeed and in truth." 1John 3:18.

BIBLE PASSAGE: 1Corinthians 7:2-5

1 Corinthians:7.2
Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.
1 Corinthians:7.3
Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
1 Corinthians:7.4
The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband [does.] And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife [does.]
1 Corinthians:7.5
Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Love is a fundamental characteristics of who God is. 1John 4:7-8. Everything God does is prompted and influenced by His love. The Bible uses several different words for "love" in the Hebrew and Greek, interchanging them depending on context. Some of these word's mean "affectionate love"; others indicate "friendship"; and still others, "erotic/sexual love" as we "sacrificial/charitable love".

TEXT REVIEW: 1Corinthians 7:2-5

Apostle Paul gave three (3) instructions to believers on marriage between verses 2-5. These instructions are stated below:

(i). Let every man or woman get his own wife and her own husband. 1Cor. 7:2.

(ii). Let the husband and wife render due benevolence to one another. 1Cor. 7:3

(iii). Let the husband and wife defraud not one another.

What are the reasons behind these instructions?

(i). You marry to avoid formication. 1Cor. 7:2

(ii). You render benevolence in marriage to strengthen the marriage. The word "benevolence" means : Disposition to do good. It also means lovely, kindness, gift, etc. When you sow love, you will reap love.

(iii). You should not defraud because, the moment of doing so, Satan will tempt you.

Other guides for lasting marriage from the Bible passage are:

(i). Give yourself to fasting and prayers. Verse 5b.

(ii). Surrender your power to one another. Verse 4. Power here means exclusive authority and control over his or her body. This authority should be surrender to one another in love.

1. "Eros" Erotic/Sexual Love
2. "Philo" Friendship Love.

(i). Teacher should find out from the students what they understand by the term "erotic love".

(ii). Teacher should explain the Greek word "eros" as the sexual love or feeling of arousal that are shared between people who are physically attracted to each other.

(iii). Teacher should find out from students whether erotic love has places or root in the Bible.

The expected answers are as follows:

(a). Yes. It has Biblical support if the couple are legally married. Matt. 19:5.

(b). Yes. Because the Bible admonishes married couple not to deny each other with erotic/sexual love. 1Cor. 7:2-5.

(c). Yes. Because sexual intimacy prevents temptation that could lead to sin. 1Cor. 7:5

(d). Sexual intimacy between couple could begin with fore play to produce sexual enjoyment. Songs of Solomon 1:13-15; Eccl.4:11; Prov. 5:19-20.

(iv). Under what condition can erotic love become sin?

When it is perverted by the Satan and list and when it is expected outside marriage. Rom. 1:24-28; 1Cor. 6:9; Rev. 21:8; 1Thess. 4:3.

(v). What can Christians do to avoid perversion of erotic love?

Couple could be guided by Christian counselors and godly literatures. Hosea 4:6.

Why should a believer not behave in the same way an unbeliever should behave in the expression of erotic/sexual love?

(i). Teacher should explain the term "Phileo/Philia" as a brotherly/friendship love which is exhibited in a close, friendly relationship. Prov. 18:24.

(ii). Teacher should give examples of Phileo in the account of David and Jonathan. 1Sam. 18:1-3.

(iii). Teacher should give characteristics of Phileo love as follows:

(a). Feeling of warmth and affection towards another person.

(b). It cherishes each other and expect affection in return. Rom. 12:10.

(iv). Question:
What lessons do Phileo love transfer to married couple?

(a). Couples are to cherish one another with warm affection.

(b). Couple should exhibit sense of comradeship and friendship and must be willing to share and communicate their thoughts, plans, dreams and feelings. Eccl. 4:9-10.

(c). Lesson of confidence in each other's attitude and behaviours.

(d). Phileo love scores the marriage performance satisfactory coupled with the bedroom passion.

(v). Question:
What is the biblical position/God's desire for believers with regards to Phileo?

God wants husband and wife to tenderly love each other in warm affection and overlook the faults and failures/weakness of each other. 1Peter 4:8.

How can warm friendship/affection be maintained in the marriage?

Both Erotic and Phileo love are crucial in marriage.

The love that lasts longer than dinner and movie must be made up of Eros ( physical attraction) and Phileo (friendship). Do your best to be intimate with your partner marriage.

Class to pray to God to give married  couple sincere grace to cherish each other with warm affection.

Find out ten (10) reasons why some couples quarrel or fight. 1mark for each point.


1. O Sunday School, on the Lord's day,
O how I love Thee well,
I am happy, it makes me glad
To rejoice at Thy birth.

2. O Sunday School, on the Lord's day,
Thy friend friendship suits me well,
Both young and old will sing Thy song,
We long for Sunday School.

3. O Sunday School, on the Lord's day,
Christ was Thy first teacher,
The Holy Spirit, great teacher,
Does manifest in thee.

4. O Sunday School, on the Lord's day,
This testimony is sure,
That God, the Father Almighty,
Poured His blessing on Thee.

5. O Sunday School, on the Lord's day,
Though the sun be so bright,
Or if the clouds be black with rain,
I'll be in Sunday School.

6. O Sunday School, on the Lord's day,
I rejoice to see Thee,
Will thou pass over me today?
Without my being blest?

Reference : RCCG Sunday School Teacher's Manual, Lesson Eighteen, 2018/2019 Edition


Your heart is your love. your love is your family,your family is your future , your future is your destiny ,your destiny is your ambition, your ambition is your aspiration, your aspiration is your motivation , your motivation is your belief. your belief is your peace , yours peace is your target ,your target is your friends, life is no fun without friends.  

Now, here comes a story - don’t mess with a righteous woman as written by Adexshowking Adeniji; Bimbo didn’t want me not to take up that job initially. She said something about her heart not being comfortable with it but what was a man like me to do when I have been living on my wife’s meager income for the past four months.

So I took up the job and the morning of my resumption, dressed in a crispy blue shirt and a new pair of trouser Bimbo got for me, I worked into Jabs Consult feeling like a man for the first time in a long time. I was again going to be the provider of my home. Well, wasn’t that my responsibility in the first place?

But I noticed something as the MD introduced me to the staff as the new accountant. They all stared blankly at me. I noticed the fake smiles, the forced responses of ‘welcome’ and the cold handshake. They didn’t look so happy to see me and that disturbed me greatly. My first day at work wasn’t pleasant as expected but I remained focused. I needed the job badly. What mattered was that there would be food on the table provided by me, the leader of my home.

Three months later, the Managing Director, a woman with a beautiful face in her mid fifties, called me into her office.

” You are an intelligent man and I’m always amazed at the suggestions you give at the staff general meeting. From the day you stepped into this place, I knew there was something special about you. Weldone, Mr Kayode.”

I went back to my office feeling really excited. As I entered, two ladies were already sitting down waiting for me. Kemi, the customer care rep rolled her eyes as I walked to my seat. Her low cut black top caught my attention but I quickly took my eyes away. Instead, I focused them on Gloria, a petite lady in a fitting blue gown, whose voice was so tiny, it made me laugh.

“Hello Ladies. What can I do for you?” They smiled. “Can’t we just come and greet you in your office.” the lady with the tiny voice said.

“I wonder o.” Kemi responded. “I don’t know why you like locking yourself up in the office. Socialize. Even Jesus socialised with sinners.’ ” I have a lot of work to do.”

Gloria stood up. “On behalf of the staff members, we want to say we are sorry for the way we treated you when you first arrived.”

Kemi nodded in agreement. “We are really sorry. It’s just that the person you replaced was very much loved here and we were really sad when she was told to leave.” I pulled my chair back and sat down. “What really happened? Why was she sacked?” “She was accused of stealing some money and we know she didn’t. I can bet my life on it.” “Since I started working here, more than five accountants have been sacked. Nobody knows how the money disappears.” Kemi said.

I stared at them, shocked at the news I was hearing. Then I smiled to myself. Money cannot disappear from my hands, I muttered. I do not steal neither was I careless with money. But I was wrong when two weeks later, I counted the money made from the sales for the day. 50,000 naira. Impossible! When the sales rep came with the money, right in her presence, I counted 200,000 naira. I upturned the drawers and poured out the contents while my heart pounded  in fear. But I didn’t find the 150,000 naira.

Jesus, I muttered and rushed to the Sales department.“Ranti, how much did you bring to my office?” Ranti was just about leaving the office when I approached her desk. She hesitated before responding.

“Please don’t tell me that money is missing.”  The other sales rep stood there watching. She ran out and returned with more of the staff members. “How much did you give to me?” “200, 000 naira.”

“Lord Jesus.” I clapped my hands together. “I can’t find 150,000 naira. The others gasped. Ranti fell back in her seat. “This must stop in this company! I am tired of this place. How did the money disappear? Ise yi tii su mi o.”

“Did you check your office very well?” Dayo, the verification officer asked. I showed them all that I had found in the safe box when I unlocked it.

“This is not funny at all! Something is not right in this company.” Fisayo, the receptionist shouted.

“Nobody leaves this company till we have searched every bag..” Ranti barked

“That cannot work o. Are you now suspecting us?”

“Let’s check her office again.” Dayo left with two others. Just then Kemi and Gloria entered the sales office with a look that said, ‘it has happened again?”

“Things were not like this in this office five years ago. All of a sudden, everything just changed. That same year, I got pregnant. lost the child and I have never been able to keep a child in my womb.”Ranti lamented.

“What about me? I have been writing CIPD exam for three years straight. I will read and read and yet every night before my exam, someone will hit my head with a big stick and when I wake up, I’ll not be able to understand anything again.” A lady said.

“I thought I was the only one facing problems o. Every time a man proposes to me, I see myself tied to a tree and an old woman pouring mud clay on my face and when I would say Yes to the proposal, the guy changes his mind. I’ve fasted and prayed. I don tire. After this month, I dey resign.”

How did I end up in a place like this? Dayo and the search team returned empty. For some minutes, we stood there in silence. I hadn’t expected this kind of reaction from my colleagues and the fact that they believed I didn’t steal the money surprised me. We held hands together and prayed, asking God to intervene in the situation and fish out the culprit.

“How do you want me to believe that you didn’t steal the money?” The MD shouted. “What is wrong with these accountants. You keep stealing the company’s money and denying it.”

“I didn’t steal it!”  Anger covered my face. My blood rose. No one had ever accused me of stealing any money. “So how did the money disappear? If you don’t cough out that money before next week, You’ll have to use your salary to pay for it. Get out of my office!”

That evening I lay on the bed, weak and tired. How much was my salary. 50,000 naira. So, I was going to use my three months salary to pay for this.  I had planned so much for that money and now I wouldn’t be able to even spend a dime out of it?

Despair descended on me like a thick cloud. My wife returned from the bible study to find me on my back, facing the wall. “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” I didn’t want her to see my swollen eyes so I faced the wall while I explained all that had happened.

I expected her to be so angry like I was but instead she stayed calm and that annoyed me more. How could she just stay unruffled when someone called her husband a thief. Did she believe I stole the money?

“There is only one thing we can do now. We pray and trust the Lord to reveal whoever is behind this.” For no reason, I hissed. I wanted her out of my sight and a strong disgust filled me. So I raised my voice. “I don’t have the strength to pray!”

“That’s why I’m here dear. Let me be your strength. You should eat something. I hissed again. “Just leave me alone.”

She left the room and even though the door was closed, I could hear her voice from the other room. She started praying in the Spirit and then I began to hear her quotes scriptures that cut through my heart.

“This is your battle Lord. Open our eyes. Show us Lord what is going on. Your word says your eyes are over the righteous and your ears are opened to their prayers. Lord, you said in your word  that He who follows you will not walk in darkness but will have the light of life.

“Expose every darkness Lord. Reveal whoever is behind this in the name of Jesus!”

She switched back to tongues and back to the scriptures again. I just stayed on the bed listening, too weak to stand up.

“We wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities and powers in high places. In the name of Jesus, every dark places be exposed. Vindicate your son oh Lord and let your name be glorified. Show us what’s going on. Strengthen my husband. May every despair be lifted this moment in the name of Jesus.

Something strong lifted from my chest. I was surprised. Suddenly, I felt light and strengthened in a way I couldn’t explain. Bimbo was praying in tongues again. I sat up. Didn’t the bible say, two shall chase a thousand? As I stood up to join her, my phone rang.

Ranti. Why would she be calling me at this time of the night.

“Hello Ranti.” No response. She was breathing hard.

“Mr Kayode, please pray for me. Something is pressing my stomach. I don’t want to lose this child. Please!” Pregnant? I hadn’t even noticed she was pregnant.

“In the name of Jesus, I command you, stop oppressing her!” I heard my wife shout from the other room. My eyes widened   I rushed out to the living room and saw my wife singing and dancing.

“Ranti, are you there? Ranti!” “I’m fine. I fell on the floor.” she was panting hard. “I feel better. Thank you.” When I ended the call, Bimbo wrapped her hand around my shoulders. “Let’s go to bed. She pulled my hand and led me back to the room. What kind of woman did I marry? In a few minutes, she was fast asleep. I lay beside her staring at her for a long time.

That night in a dream, I was in the office with my wife. She was trying to fill a form and I was helping her out when she pointed my attention to an old woman walking towards the safe box. She tapped it thrice and the box opened. Then she began to count money. “So it is you who steals the money of the company.” I stood up, angry. Bimbo grabbed my hands.

She stood straight, shocked while her weak eyes bored into mine. Her face looked familiar.  As I was wondering where I had seen the face, the winkles began to disappear and was replaced with glowing  fair skin. Right before me stood Kemi. I almost jumped at the sight, my mouth agape. The money fell from her hand.

“There is no hiding place for you. In the name of Jesus, I command you to lose your hold over every staff in the company..” She cried, and turned back into an old woman before disappearing out of sight. I woke up with a start, beads of sweat covering my face. I couldn’t sleep till the day broke.

The next day when I got to work, Ranti hurried to my side. “Thank you. My husband and I are hoping to pay you a visit soon.

I smiled. The secretary walked towards me as I spoke with some other colleagues who were waiting at the reception. They wanted to know what the M.D said about the missing money. “The M.D wants to see you.” the secretary said and hurried back to the office. As I followed her, Dayo called out to me. I turned. “We have your back. This time, we will defend you to the last. ” I smiled and continued walking to the office. When I entered, she was already seated. She leaned forward, her hands on the table.

“I’m sorry about the way I lashed out at you yesterday. So many things have been wrong with this company. I have lost deals that I would normally have won and I had to deal with my son’s mental illness.  It has been so frustrating. I work hard every day but I don’t see results. Money get missing in this company, I have called prophets and spiritualists for prayers but nothing changed and just last week, I was telling my husband that we should close the company but he insisted we gave it some more time. It was with all of that that I responded harshly to you.”

“I didn’t steal that money.” I said, when I didn’t know what else to say. The MD sighed. “Let’s forget about that incident. Just be careful next time.”

I nodded. ” I’ll call you later today. There is something I want us to look into. A follow up on the deal we had with that client I spoke to you about. Lest I forget, the deal clicked. The client called me this morning to seal the agreement. Thank God I listened to you.”

I nodded and left her office. Almost all the 20 staff members of the company were waiting to hear the outcome of the meeting. They shouted in excitement when I informed them that I had not been fired. That was the beginning of a new kind of friendship. I looked around for Kemi but she was nowhere to be found. She didn’t come the following day and the day after. Her lines were switched off and till date, I have not set my eyes on her.

It’s been five years and Jabs Consult has seen better days. I head a department and Ranti’s babies are doing fine. But this incident, I will never forget. When I look at the woman I married, these words just run through my lips: Don’t mess with a righteous woman who knows her authority in Christ. You can’t mess with her home, with her husband and with her kids. I’m learning to be that man who realises that the name of the Lord is a strong tower. The righteous runs into it and is safe.