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Showing posts with label Marriage & Relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marriage & Relationship. Show all posts

How to Know that Someone Loves You

Love your boy

Lady never abandon a good man for a stupid reason, a jobless man, and a lazy man is never the same. He may not have today and that doesn't mean he will be lacking forever. Man, The higher you elevate your woman and treat her well, the less available she makes herself to other men. When you are stingy and treat her bad, you make her accessible to anyone she thinks will treat her better. Here are seven straight ways to know truly if someone loves you;

1. Love somebody who listens to whatever is on your mind,who protects you and always reminds you how blessed they are to have found you.

2. Love somebody who you can't stay mad at for more than an hour because you miss speaking to them,who knows every freckle on your face, every stretch mark on your thighs, every scar and every tear.

3. Love somebody who you can plan your future with,and most importantly love somebody who is God fearing.

4. When you fall in love make sure it's with somebody who treats you exactly how you deserve to be treated.

5. Love somebody who wants to know everything about you,from your favorite color to your childhood memories how you managed to survive all those years.

6. Love somebody who can make you laugh,who kisses your forehead and who notices all your flaws but chooses to see past them.

7. Ask God to blessed the person you ve made ur choice to love and show you the way to build the love for married purpose.

Finally Love is not for the weak hearted or non believers. If you fall in love you have to believe in the strength of your heart and soul. You ought to have a strong heart to help you pull together through hard times. Don't forget to make them feel loved in return.

Parenting : A Wish You Want From God

A father , mother and child sleeping

A primary school teacher once asked her pupils to write an essay on " A wish you want from God . " At the end of the day, the teacher collected all the essays given by her pupils. She took them to her house, sat down and started marking. While marking the essays, she sees a strange essay written by one of her pupils. That essay made her very emotional. Her husband asked and sat beside her and saw her crying. The husband asked her, " What happened? " , "What is making you crying?"

 She answered , " Read this. It is one of my pupil's, essay. "

Oh God , Make me a Television. I want to live like the television in my house. In my house, the television is very valuable. All of my family members sit around it. They are very happy. They don't slap the television. So I want to become a television. The television is the centre of attraction in my house. I want to receive the same special care that the television receives from my parents. Even when it not working, the television has a lot of value. When my daddy and mummy come home, they immediately sit in front of the television, switch it on and spread hours watching it. 

The television is stealing the time of my daddy and mummy. If  I become a television, then they will spend their time with with me. While watching the television, my parents laugh a lot and they smile many times. But I want my parents to smile and laugh with me also. So please God make me a television. 

And last but not the least , if I become a television, surely I can make my parents happy and entertain them. Lord I won't ask you for anything more.  I just want to live like a television. Please turn me into a television. The husband completed reading the essay. He said , " My God, poor kid. He feels lonely. He did not receive enough love and care from his parents. His parents are horrible. " She looked at her husband and said, "Our son wrote this essay. What do you think of this piece?

May our children never desire to be WhatsApp, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, iPhone or Television while we are alive with them. Parents, give adequate care and attention to your children. Let them know they are more valuable than them. Let them know they are your most treasured asset and practice it so. 

Ways To Sustain Distance Relationship

Long distance relationship may be tough but it has its own surprises too. To keep your love alive and strong, here are tips to make your long distance relationship work. Nobody says it is going to be easy the extra distance makes many things unachievable. Out of sight is really out of mind. It only takes a conscious effort to remain in sight. Distant relationship could be unpredictable that's why one needs to be really careful. Especially when you are dating, courting or married to the person.

Many people believe that long distance relationships are never going to work out. Your family may discourage it, and some of your best friends may advise you not to take it too seriously, in case you get your heart broken.

The extra distance also makes the simplest things the sweetest, being able to hold the other person’s hand, eating together at the same table, feeling each other’s touch, taking a walk together, smelling each other’s hair. these small wishes could suddenly mean so much more in a long distance relationship. Things could get complicated, and you could get sad and lonely at times.
Ways to Sustain Distance Relationship

1.Keep track of each other’s social media activities. Like each other’s photos on Facebook and Instagram. Tweet each other. Tag each other. Share things on each other’s walls. Show that you care. Be cool about stalking each other.

2.Gift is a personal object for the other person to hold on to. There is power in a memento. Be it a small pendent, a ring, a keychain, a CD of songs and videos, or a bottle of fragrance. We often attach meanings to the little things and items found in our everyday life, whether knowingly or not. This is what we all do  we try to store memories in physical things, in hope that when our mind fails us, we can look or hold on to something that will help us remember. This is why something so simple can mean so much to a person, when others may see little or no value in it.

3.Stay positive. You need to be constantly injecting positive energy into the long distance relationship to keep it alive. Yes, the waiting can be painful and you can sometimes feel lonesome but you need to remind yourself that the fruits at the end will be sweet as heaven. One good trick to staying positive is to be grateful all the time. Be thankful that you have someone to love  someone who also loves you back. Be thankful for the little things, be thankful for each other’s health and safety.

4.Video-call whenever possible. Because looking into each other’s eyes and hearing each other’s voices can make everything feel alright again.
5.Avoid excessive communication. It is unwise to be overly “sticky” and possessive. You two don’t really have to communicate twelve hours a day to keep the relationship going. Many couples thought that they need to compensate for the distance by doing more. This is not true. And it might only make things worse. Soon you would get tired of “loving.” Remember: Less is more. It is not about spamming  you are only going to exhaust yourselves. It’s really about teasing at the right moments and tugging at the right spots.
6.See it as an opportunity. “If you want to live together, you first need to learn how to live apart .” View it as a learning journey for the both of you. See it as a test of your love for each other. As the Chinese saying goes, “Real gold is not afraid of the test of fire .” Instead of thinking that this long distance relationship is pulling you two apart, you should believe that through this experience, the both of you will be bound together even stronger.

7. Set some ground rules to manage your expectations. Both of you need to be clear with what you expect of with each other during this long distance relationship. Set some ground rules so that none of you will do things that will take the other party by surprise. For instance, are you two exclusive? Is it alright for the other person to go on dates? What is your commitment level? It’s better to be open with each other about all these things.

8. Try to communicate regularly, and creatively. Greet each other “good morning” and “good night” every day this is a must. On top of that, try to update your partner on your life and its happening, however mundane some of the things may seem. To up the game, send each other pictures, audio clips and short videos from time to time. By putting in this kind of effort, you make the other person feel loved and attended to.

9. Avoid “dangerous” situations. If you already know that going to the party or going drinking with your group of friends late at night will displease your partner, then you should either not do it or tell your partner beforehand so as to reassure him/her. Don’t be careless about this sort of matter because your partner is only going to be extra worried or extra suspicious, and of course, very upset, because you are putting him/her in a position where he/she feels extra powerless/lacking in control. Also, It could be easy for you to fall into the trap which you, unconsciously or not, set up for yourself by “hanging out” with your office eye-candy after work, or going out with a girl or guy from your past who has been flirting with you. You need to recognize the dangers before entering into the situation. Don’t just listen to your heart. Listen to your mind too.

10.Do things together. Play an online game together. Watch a documentary on YouTube or Vimeo at the same time. Sing to each other on Skype while one of you plays the guitar. “Take a walk together” outside while video-calling each other. Go online-shopping together  and buy each other gifts . You really have to be creative and spontaneous about it.

11.Make visits to each other. Visits are the highlight of every long distance relationship. After all the waiting and yearning and abstinence, you finally get to meet each other which are all common to other couples but so very special and extra intimate for people in long distance relationships. It will be like fireworks, glitter bombs, confetti, rainbows and butterflies everywhere.

12.Do similar things. Recommend books, TV shows, movies, music, news and etc. to each other. When you read, watch and listen to the same things, you get to have more topics in common to talk about. This is a good to create some shared experiences even though you are living apart.

13.Have a goal in mind. “What do we want to achieve at the end of the day?” “How long are we going to be apart?” “What about the future?” These are the questions you two need to ask yourselves. The truth is, no couple can be in a long distance relationship for forever. Eventually we all need to settle down. So make a plan with each other. Do up a timeline, marking down the estimated times apart and times together, and draw an end goal. It is important that you two are on the same page and have the same goals. So that even if you are not living in the same space and the same timezone, both of you are still working together in the same direction towards a future that includes one another.

14.Know each other’s schedules. It’s helpful to know when the other person is busy and when he/she is free, so that you can drop a text or make a call at the right time. You wouldn’t want to disturb your partner when he/she is in the middle of class or halfway through a business meeting. Know the small and big events that are taking place or will take place in each other’s life e.g. college mid-terms and exams, important business trips and meetings, job interviews and etc. This is especially essential when the both of you are living in different time zones.

15.Stay honest with each other. Talk about your feelings of fear, insecurity, jealousy, apathy, whatsoever. If you try to hide anything from your partner, that secret will sooner or later swallow you up from inside out. Don’t try to deal with things all by yourself. Be open and honest with each other. Let your partner help you and give you the support you need. it’s better to look at the problem during its initial stage than to only disclose it when it’s all too late.

Wives, Learn From Leah

MEMORISE:
A man's gift maketh room for him, and bringeth him before great men. Proverbs 18:16

READ: Genesis 30:14-18

14 And Reuben went in the days of wheat harvest, and found mandrakes in the field, and brought them unto his mother Leah. Then Rachel said to Leah, Give me, I pray thee, of thy son's mandrakes.

15 And she said unto her, Is it a small matter that thou hast taken my husband? and wouldest thou take away my son's mandrakes also? And Rachel said, Therefore he shall lie with thee to night for thy son's mandrakes.

16 And Jacob came out of the field in the evening, and Leah went out to meet him, and said, Thou must come in unto me; for surely I have hired thee with my son's mandrakes. And he lay with her that night.

17 And God hearkened unto Leah, and she conceived, and bare Jacob the fifth son.

18 And Leah said, God hath given me my hire, because I have given my maiden to my husband: and she called his name Issachar.

MESSAGE

The Almighty in His wisdom

Husbands Learn From Joseph

MEMORISE:
[Charity]  Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 1 Corinthians 13:7

READ: Matthew 1:18-25

18 Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost.

19 Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privily.

20 But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the LORDappeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost.

21 And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins.

22 Now all this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord by the prophet, saying,

23 Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us.

24 Then Joseph being raised from sleep did as the angel of the Lord had bidden him, and took unto him his wife:

25 And knew her not till she had brought forth her firstborn son: and he called his name JESUS.

MESSAGE

One thing our world needs now,

Good Parenting Principles In This Century

Children, if not properly groomed may never get to the top in life, even if both parents are at the top of their careers. Manners take you to where your education can't irrespective of your status, wealth or your reach or influence. Going to your child's school indecently dressed. (Think again). Speaking rashly to your child's teacher. Cursing, using foul language or swearing words in front of your children. Using makeup on children. Dressing your little children up indecently.

Putting earrings on your son's ears. Your child hold the cup or glassware by the brim and you don't correct. Your children don't greet and you just feel they will come around one day because they have a mood swing. (You will be blamed for it). Your children eat with their mouth opened and you feel they will grow up some day. Your children bringing home something you did not buy for them and you say nothing. (that is the beginning of stealing).

The Children talk back at you and you conclude it's okay since you are a 21st century parent. (You will hate yourself if they do that outside and they are disciplined). The Children interrupt when you are speaking with another adult and you think they are bold and clever. (Its really bad manners). The Children exercising authority over the nanny and domestic staff and you let them be. (that is bad parenting). The Children saying things like "my driver is on his way. " I do not advocate that children should call your domestic staff Aunty or Brother, calling them by name when they are not young people is not proper either. The use of Miss, Mr or Mrs will look good on them.

Your children don't say a 'thank you' when they have been helped or served something and you are cool with that. (Bad parenting). When your Children cannot stand children's who are less privileged. When the Children pick their noses with their hands. When the Children don't wash their hands after visiting the washroom or after returning from school or outside visits. When your Children take something from the fridge without taking permission. (Bad parenting).

When your Children don't knock on closed doors and wait for a response before opening the door. When your Children don't collect from your hands items you brought in as you walk into your home. When your Children request for a bribe to carry out their home chores or extra task. (That is disgraceful). When your Children act like their Grandparents irritate them. (It's a Transferable Curse). When your Children have not learnt to get up from the Chair for the Elderly or Visitors to sit.

When your Children tells lot of lies. (You will both cry in the future). When your Children ask "who is that?" at a knock on your door instead of "please, may I know who is there." When your Children is always seated by your visitors when being served drinks or Food.

When your Children still point their fingers at other people, when talking to or speaking about them. When your Children play and jump around when prayers are going on. (These can apply to children from ages four and above). This  is very rude ; rotten parenting. Such a parent is a shame to herself. Teach your children at home, it's very frustrating to have your children make noise while prayers or preachings going on. May d Lord help us parents to stop being irresponsible.

Don't be a 21st century parent who can't correct their Children. You leave your children to jump on beds, sofas at your house, they carry this personality to other people's houses whom you visit. They open fridges at other people's houses,  jump on sofas, break glasses; you do not even stop your child. Go ahead, destroy them so they will fail their future. Train your Children in the way of the Lord so that when they grow up they will not depart from such Godly Training or upbringing.

Parenting can be one of life's most rewarding pursuits. It can bring great joy into life, but it can also be challenging and overwhelming. Because every child and family situation is unique, it can be hard to know the best thing to do in every parenting situation. While there is no magic formula for perfect parenting, there are certain traits and behaviors that successful parents share. Whether your children are toddlers or teens, implementing these principles will create a strong foundation for achieving your goal of being a good parent.

However, the followings are the good parenting principles in this current century;

Love your child unconditionally
Never withhold love as a punishment for bad behavior. While you don't have to accept your child's negative choices or behaviors, tell him and show him that you love and accept him as a person. Give him your love and support in good times and in bad. Be an example of the kind of person you want your child to be. Model the positive attitudes and behaviors that you expect from her. Your children are the keenest observers of everything you do and say. Your personal example will have an enormous impact on how your child behaves. Strive to be your best self, and be someone your child can emulate.

Empower your child and help her feel capable


Give her opportunities to work independently. For a young child, it might be as simple as setting the table or cleaning up her toys. Older children might cook a meal or plan a family activity. Whatever options you choose, find ways to teach your children that they are competent. Support them and help them, but don't try to solve all their problems for them. Accept mistakes-your own and your child's. Life is difficult and everyone will make mistakes. Have realistic goals and expectations for yourself and your children, and forgive each other when you sometimes fall short. Learn from mistakes, and use them as an opportunity to grow.

Spend quality time together
Even when your schedule is busy and hectic, find time to focus on each individual child. Take advantage of small opportunities to bond. Whether it's during the drive to school, while taking a walk, during mealtimes or bath times, you can take those few minutes to focus on your child, listen to his thoughts and concerns, and show how much you care about him.

Set reasonable rules and expectations for your child and be consistent
The key to effective discipline is to have clear rules and boundaries in place for your child and to be consistent about enacting consequences. Establish routines for your children to follow, and be clear and specific about the behavior you expect from them. Focus on positive behavior as much as possible. Recognize the positive choices and behaviors of your child and give her sincere praise for the good things she does. Acknowledging and complimenting your child's positive behavior will help reinforce it. It will also help prevent your child from using negative behavior as a way to get attention.

Avoid comparing your children to others, especially siblings
Each child is individual and unique. Celebrate their differences and instill in each child the desire to pursue their interests and dreams. Failure to do so may give your child an inferiority complex, an idea that they can never be good enough in your eyes. If you want to help them improve their behavior, talk about meeting their goals on their own terms, instead of telling them to act like their sister or neighbor. This will help them develop a sense of self instead of having an inferiority complex. Comparing one child to another can also make one child develop a rivalry with his or her sibling. You want to nurture a loving relationship between your children, not a competitive one. Avoid favoritism. Surveys have shown that most parents have favorites, but most children believe that they are the favorite. If your children are quarreling, don't choose sides, but be fair and neutral. Overcome natural birth order tendencies by making each child responsible for themselves. Putting older kids in charge of the younger one stokes sibling rivalry, whereas making them take responsibility for themselves encourages individuality and self-reliance.

Praise your children
Praising your children is an important part of being a good parent. You want your kids to feel proud of their accomplishments and good about themselves. If you don't give them the confidence they need to be out in the world on their own, then they won't feel empowered to be independent or adventurous. When they do something good, let them know that you've noticed and that you're very proud of them. Emphasize your children's accomplishments, talents, and good behavior, while minimizing their faults. This shows them you see the best in them. Make a habit of praising your children at least three times as much as you give them negative feedback. Though it's important to tell your children when they're doing something wrong, it's also important to help them build a positive sense of self. If they are too young to fully understand, praise them with applause and lots of love. Encouraging them for doing everything from using the potty to getting good grades can help them lead a happy and successful life. Avoid blanket phrases like "Good job!". Instead provide descriptive praise which lets them know exactly what is being appreciated. For example "You did great taking turns with your sister while playing" or "Thank you for cleaning up the toys after playing with them!

Be a united front with your spouse
If you have a spouse, then it's important that your children think of you as a united front — as two people who will both say "yes" or "no" to the same things. If your kids think that their mother will always say yes and their father will say no, then they'll think that one parent is "better" or more easily manipulated than the other. They should see you and your spouse as a unit so there's order in your high school, and so you don't find yourself in a difficult situation because you and your spouse don't agree on certain things when it comes to raising the kids. This doesn't mean that you and your spouse have to agree 100% about everything having to do with the kids. But it does mean that you should work together to solve problems that involve the children, instead of being pitted against each other. You shouldn't argue with your spouse in front of the children. If they are sleeping, argue quietly. Children may feel insecure and fearful when they hear parents bickering. In addition, children will learn to argue with each other the same way they hear their parents argue with each other. Show them that when people disagree, they can discuss their differences peacefully.

Conclusively, being a parent can be one of the most rewarding and fulfilling experiences of your life, but that doesn't mean it's easy. No matter what age your child/children is/are, your work is never done. To be a good parent, you need to know how to make your children feel valued and loved, while teaching them the difference between right and wrong. At the end of the day, the most important thing is to create a nurturing environment where your children feel like they can thrive and develop into confident, independent, and caring adults.


References









Love Dynamics In Marriage






OPENING PRAYER: Father, let true love continue in every home.
BIBLE PASSAGE : GENESIS 2:18-25
18.And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
19.And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.
20.And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.
21.And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
22.And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
23.And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
24.Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
25.And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
MEMORY VERSE: "By long forbearing is a prince persuaded, and a soft tongue breaketh the bone". Proverbs 25:15
LESSON INTRODUCTION :
Many marriages ate needlessly failing because the marriage partners lack the knowledge of relationship dynamics. Hosea 4:6. Most couples, sadly to say are ignorant on purpose. In this study, we will be looking at the scriptural principles and the love language that must characterize our marital relationships.
TEXT REVIEW : GENESIS 2:18-25 "DIVINE SURGICAL OPERATION"
The mystery of togetherness in marriage is divine. This is the explained in the light of the following references:
i. God started it " And God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him". Gen.2:18.
ii. God recognized it "And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof". Gen.2:21.
iii. God performed the surgery and reconstructed the rib."And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman". Gen.2:22.
iv. God translated the bone to bones and flesh. Gen. 2:23a
v. The only assignment which Adam did in the process was to label the new creation by naming it and to accept it. "And Adam said.....,she shall be called a woman....shall cleave to his wife". Gen.2:23-24.
vi. Both the man and the woman began to cohabit ( unity). They clave(unity). They were not ashamed (unity). Gen.2:24-25.
2 LESSON OUTLINES
LESSON OUTLINE 1: SCRIPTURAL PRINCIPLES GUIDING MARRIAGE
Couples should understand the following scriptural principles:
i. That the couple(male & female)is the image of God. Gen.1:27.
ii. That the differences in male and female are God-designed and therefore should be accepted as complimentary and not as competitive. Gen.2:18.
iii. That marriage is a divine institution and that it is a relationship of companionship. Gen.2:21-25; Matt.19: 5.
iv. That the marriage was design designed by God to be a permanent, mutual and covenant relationship. Matt. 19:6
v. That God's intent is for marriage to be an inestimable source of joy and fulfillment.
vi. That through marriage, God intends to bring redemption to human race. Gen. 3:15; 22:18.
vii. That marital relationship provides the vehicle for the incarnation of the Saviour, Jesus Christ. Ephemeral. 5:31-32.
CLASS ACTIVITY 1: Class to discuss why many marriages do not follow or are not based on the above-mentioned principles.
LESSON OUTLINE 2: UNDERSTANDING THE "LOVE LANGUAGES"
For a lasting marriage, couple should understand and apply the following five(5) love languages frequently:
i. Quality Time Together: Spending time with each other and talking without interruptions, going out and about, having fun together, celebrating birthdays and wedding anniversaries, etc. let courtship experience continue. Gen.26:8.
ii. Acts of Service: Do things you know your spouse would like you do. For example cooking meals, helping each other especially in household chores, etc. Eccl.4:9.
iii. Exchange of Gift: Express your love for each other through giving/receiving of gifts no matter how small. 1 Sam.1:5; Prov.17:8.
iv. Words of Affirmation: Couples must be consistent in saying  I love you, I am sorry, Thank you, you look nice in that dress etc. to each other. Song of Solomon 1:15; 4:1,7.
v. Physical Touching: This is a way of communicating emotional love, e.g. holding hands,  kissing , pecking, embracing , patting , necking,nibbling, sitting close to each other etc. Gen. 26:8; Song of Solomon 1:2.
SUMMARY :
Biblical marital principles and 'love language' strengthened the marital relationship.
CONCLUSION:
Couples should discover and express to each other what 'their' primary love language is and not just speak, but do to them what 'your' love language is.
EVALUATION :
i. What is love language?
ii. What are the biblical based marital principles?
CLOSING PRAYER :
Father, help couples to imbibe the biblical principles and love languages in Jesus' name.
ASSIGNMENT :
Find out five (5) major differences between the scripture-based marital principles and the world/carnal-based marital principle.


SUNDAY SCHOOL HYMN
1.O Sunday School, on the Lord's day,
O how I love Thee well,
I am happy, it makes me glad
To rejoice at Thy birth.
2. O Sunday School, on the Lord's day,
Thy friend friendship suits me well,
Both young and old will sing Thy song,
We long for Sunday School.
3. O Sunday School, on the Lord's day,
Christ was Thy first teacher,
The Holy Spirit, great teacher,
Does manifest in thee.
4. O Sunday School, on the Lord's day,
This testimony is sure,
That God, the Father Almighty,
Poured His blessing on Thee.
5. O Sunday School, on the Lord's day,
Though the sun be so bright,
Or if the clouds be black with rain,
I'll be in Sunday School.
6. O Sunday School, on the Lord's day,
I rejoice to see Thee,
Will thou pass over me today?
Without my being blest?

Reference: RCCG Sunday School Teacher's Manual, Lesson Twenty (20) , 2018/2019 Edition.

SPORT