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Showing posts with label FAMILY. Show all posts
Showing posts with label FAMILY. Show all posts

How to Manage and Control Ego In A Relationship

How to Manage and Control Ego In A Relationship

Having ego in a relationship is a good thing but it only becomes bad when it's excessive or is blown out of proportion. In a relationship learn to compromise don't put your needs above that of your partner it's a relationship because it involves two parties don't let your ego drive special people away from you. At times learn to let go and it will amaze you how special people will come your way.

However, the following are ways of managing and controlling ego in relationship;

Understanding Your true Self
At the bottom of letting go of or controlling your ego is knowing your true self. Now let me ask you. What do you love most about yourself? What do you value most?

This is not easy and will definitely take some time but you must learn to understand and know yourself worth as well as identify your core values and goals. You must let others get in the way of that and you will realize your ego need not be destructive

Remember That You Don't always Have To Be Right
It's okay to be wrong sometimes. No one is perfect. Understanding your true self will help you realize that you cannot be right in every situation. There will always be situations where you make a wrong call, have a wrong attitude or simply on a wrong side.

You must learn discern these situations and not be afraid to admit your wrong. It will be difficult in the beginning but being able to admit when you wrong gives a sense of freedom.

Overcome The Need To be Better Than Everyone Else
An ego out of control leads you to think your better than everyone else, that you're superior in every way. Just like remembering you don't have to be right all the time. There will always be someone better, more beautiful, smarter and faster. From infant hood to adulthood this has always been the case. The sooner you realise that you should not feel obligated and cannot be better than everyone else, the sooner you can mend your relationships.

Practice Tolerance And Determine Not To be  Easily Offended
In A Relationship you must learn to tolerate your partner. You have to be very accommodating and be determined to train yourself to that point whereby you won't be easily offended by the little things your partner does or says.

You have to work on your ego if it's excessive so as to be very forgiving and have the ability to forget the things he or she does that upset you or hurt you knowingly or unknowingly.

Practice Contentment
Just as you can set your mind to be more tolerant..and not being offended easily you can set your mind to be content with what you have. Having this mindset can help you cover all of the things above. Knowing that you have what you need and most of all other things are superfluous, will help you be more open to what others have to say and understand how they behave.

How to Know that Someone Loves You

Love your boy

Lady never abandon a good man for a stupid reason, a jobless man, and a lazy man is never the same. He may not have today and that doesn't mean he will be lacking forever. Man, The higher you elevate your woman and treat her well, the less available she makes herself to other men. When you are stingy and treat her bad, you make her accessible to anyone she thinks will treat her better. Here are seven straight ways to know truly if someone loves you;

1. Love somebody who listens to whatever is on your mind,who protects you and always reminds you how blessed they are to have found you.

2. Love somebody who you can't stay mad at for more than an hour because you miss speaking to them,who knows every freckle on your face, every stretch mark on your thighs, every scar and every tear.

3. Love somebody who you can plan your future with,and most importantly love somebody who is God fearing.

4. When you fall in love make sure it's with somebody who treats you exactly how you deserve to be treated.

5. Love somebody who wants to know everything about you,from your favorite color to your childhood memories how you managed to survive all those years.

6. Love somebody who can make you laugh,who kisses your forehead and who notices all your flaws but chooses to see past them.

7. Ask God to blessed the person you ve made ur choice to love and show you the way to build the love for married purpose.

Finally Love is not for the weak hearted or non believers. If you fall in love you have to believe in the strength of your heart and soul. You ought to have a strong heart to help you pull together through hard times. Don't forget to make them feel loved in return.

Parenting : A Wish You Want From God

A father , mother and child sleeping

A primary school teacher once asked her pupils to write an essay on " A wish you want from God . " At the end of the day, the teacher collected all the essays given by her pupils. She took them to her house, sat down and started marking. While marking the essays, she sees a strange essay written by one of her pupils. That essay made her very emotional. Her husband asked and sat beside her and saw her crying. The husband asked her, " What happened? " , "What is making you crying?"

 She answered , " Read this. It is one of my pupil's, essay. "

Oh God , Make me a Television. I want to live like the television in my house. In my house, the television is very valuable. All of my family members sit around it. They are very happy. They don't slap the television. So I want to become a television. The television is the centre of attraction in my house. I want to receive the same special care that the television receives from my parents. Even when it not working, the television has a lot of value. When my daddy and mummy come home, they immediately sit in front of the television, switch it on and spread hours watching it. 

The television is stealing the time of my daddy and mummy. If  I become a television, then they will spend their time with with me. While watching the television, my parents laugh a lot and they smile many times. But I want my parents to smile and laugh with me also. So please God make me a television. 

And last but not the least , if I become a television, surely I can make my parents happy and entertain them. Lord I won't ask you for anything more.  I just want to live like a television. Please turn me into a television. The husband completed reading the essay. He said , " My God, poor kid. He feels lonely. He did not receive enough love and care from his parents. His parents are horrible. " She looked at her husband and said, "Our son wrote this essay. What do you think of this piece?

May our children never desire to be WhatsApp, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, iPhone or Television while we are alive with them. Parents, give adequate care and attention to your children. Let them know they are more valuable than them. Let them know they are your most treasured asset and practice it so. 

Husbands Learn From Joseph

Relationship Tips

[Charity]  Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 1 Corinthians 13:7

READ: Matthew 1:18-25

18 Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost.

19 Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privily.

20 But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the LORD appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost.

21 And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins.

22 Now all this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord by the prophet, saying,

23 Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us.

24 Then Joseph being raised from sleep did as the angel of the Lord had bidden him, and took unto him his wife:

25 And knew her not till she had brought forth her firstborn son: and he called his name JESUS.


One thing our world needs now,

Good Parenting Principles In This Century

Children, if not properly groomed may never get to the top in life, even if both parents are at the top of their careers. Manners take you to where your education can't irrespective of your status, wealth or your reach or influence. Going to your child's school indecently dressed. (Think again). Speaking rashly to your child's teacher. Cursing, using foul language or swearing words in front of your children. Using makeup on children. Dressing your little children up indecently.

Putting earrings on your son's ears. Your child hold the cup or glassware by the brim and you don't correct. Your children don't greet and you just feel they will come around one day because they have a mood swing. (You will be blamed for it). Your children eat with their mouth opened and you feel they will grow up some day. Your children bringing home something you did not buy for them and you say nothing. (that is the beginning of stealing).

The Children talk back at you and you conclude it's okay since you are a 21st century parent. (You will hate yourself if they do that outside and they are disciplined). The Children interrupt when you are speaking with another adult and you think they are bold and clever. (Its really bad manners). The Children exercising authority over the nanny and domestic staff and you let them be. (that is bad parenting). The Children saying things like "my driver is on his way. " I do not advocate that children should call your domestic staff Aunty or Brother, calling them by name when they are not young people is not proper either. The use of Miss, Mr or Mrs will look good on them.

Your children don't say a 'thank you' when they have been helped or served something and you are cool with that. (Bad parenting). When your Children cannot stand children's who are less privileged. When the Children pick their noses with their hands. When the Children don't wash their hands after visiting the washroom or after returning from school or outside visits. When your Children take something from the fridge without taking permission. (Bad parenting).

When your Children don't knock on closed doors and wait for a response before opening the door. When your Children don't collect from your hands items you brought in as you walk into your home. When your Children request for a bribe to carry out their home chores or extra task. (That is disgraceful). When your Children act like their Grandparents irritate them. (It's a Transferable Curse). When your Children have not learnt to get up from the Chair for the Elderly or Visitors to sit.

When your Children tells lot of lies. (You will both cry in the future). When your Children ask "who is that?" at a knock on your door instead of "please, may I know who is there." When your Children is always seated by your visitors when being served drinks or Food.

When your Children still point their fingers at other people, when talking to or speaking about them. When your Children play and jump around when prayers are going on. (These can apply to children from ages four and above). This  is very rude ; rotten parenting. Such a parent is a shame to herself. Teach your children at home, it's very frustrating to have your children make noise while prayers or preachings going on. May d Lord help us parents to stop being irresponsible.

Don't be a 21st century parent who can't correct their Children. You leave your children to jump on beds, sofas at your house, they carry this personality to other people's houses whom you visit. They open fridges at other people's houses,  jump on sofas, break glasses; you do not even stop your child. Go ahead, destroy them so they will fail their future. Train your Children in the way of the Lord so that when they grow up they will not depart from such Godly Training or upbringing.

Parenting can be one of life's most rewarding pursuits. It can bring great joy into life, but it can also be challenging and overwhelming. Because every child and family situation is unique, it can be hard to know the best thing to do in every parenting situation. While there is no magic formula for perfect parenting, there are certain traits and behaviors that successful parents share. Whether your children are toddlers or teens, implementing these principles will create a strong foundation for achieving your goal of being a good parent.

However, the followings are the good parenting principles in this current century;

Love your child unconditionally
Never withhold love as a punishment for bad behavior. While you don't have to accept your child's negative choices or behaviors, tell him and show him that you love and accept him as a person. Give him your love and support in good times and in bad. Be an example of the kind of person you want your child to be. Model the positive attitudes and behaviors that you expect from her. Your children are the keenest observers of everything you do and say. Your personal example will have an enormous impact on how your child behaves. Strive to be your best self, and be someone your child can emulate.

Empower your child and help her feel capable

Give her opportunities to work independently. For a young child, it might be as simple as setting the table or cleaning up her toys. Older children might cook a meal or plan a family activity. Whatever options you choose, find ways to teach your children that they are competent. Support them and help them, but don't try to solve all their problems for them. Accept mistakes-your own and your child's. Life is difficult and everyone will make mistakes. Have realistic goals and expectations for yourself and your children, and forgive each other when you sometimes fall short. Learn from mistakes, and use them as an opportunity to grow.

Spend quality time together
Even when your schedule is busy and hectic, find time to focus on each individual child. Take advantage of small opportunities to bond. Whether it's during the drive to school, while taking a walk, during mealtimes or bath times, you can take those few minutes to focus on your child, listen to his thoughts and concerns, and show how much you care about him.

Set reasonable rules and expectations for your child and be consistent
The key to effective discipline is to have clear rules and boundaries in place for your child and to be consistent about enacting consequences. Establish routines for your children to follow, and be clear and specific about the behavior you expect from them. Focus on positive behavior as much as possible. Recognize the positive choices and behaviors of your child and give her sincere praise for the good things she does. Acknowledging and complimenting your child's positive behavior will help reinforce it. It will also help prevent your child from using negative behavior as a way to get attention.

Avoid comparing your children to others, especially siblings
Each child is individual and unique. Celebrate their differences and instill in each child the desire to pursue their interests and dreams. Failure to do so may give your child an inferiority complex, an idea that they can never be good enough in your eyes. If you want to help them improve their behavior, talk about meeting their goals on their own terms, instead of telling them to act like their sister or neighbor. This will help them develop a sense of self instead of having an inferiority complex. Comparing one child to another can also make one child develop a rivalry with his or her sibling. You want to nurture a loving relationship between your children, not a competitive one. Avoid favoritism. Surveys have shown that most parents have favorites, but most children believe that they are the favorite. If your children are quarreling, don't choose sides, but be fair and neutral. Overcome natural birth order tendencies by making each child responsible for themselves. Putting older kids in charge of the younger one stokes sibling rivalry, whereas making them take responsibility for themselves encourages individuality and self-reliance.

Praise your children
Praising your children is an important part of being a good parent. You want your kids to feel proud of their accomplishments and good about themselves. If you don't give them the confidence they need to be out in the world on their own, then they won't feel empowered to be independent or adventurous. When they do something good, let them know that you've noticed and that you're very proud of them. Emphasize your children's accomplishments, talents, and good behavior, while minimizing their faults. This shows them you see the best in them. Make a habit of praising your children at least three times as much as you give them negative feedback. Though it's important to tell your children when they're doing something wrong, it's also important to help them build a positive sense of self. If they are too young to fully understand, praise them with applause and lots of love. Encouraging them for doing everything from using the potty to getting good grades can help them lead a happy and successful life. Avoid blanket phrases like "Good job!". Instead provide descriptive praise which lets them know exactly what is being appreciated. For example "You did great taking turns with your sister while playing" or "Thank you for cleaning up the toys after playing with them!

Be a united front with your spouse
If you have a spouse, then it's important that your children think of you as a united front — as two people who will both say "yes" or "no" to the same things. If your kids think that their mother will always say yes and their father will say no, then they'll think that one parent is "better" or more easily manipulated than the other. They should see you and your spouse as a unit so there's order in your high school, and so you don't find yourself in a difficult situation because you and your spouse don't agree on certain things when it comes to raising the kids. This doesn't mean that you and your spouse have to agree 100% about everything having to do with the kids. But it does mean that you should work together to solve problems that involve the children, instead of being pitted against each other. You shouldn't argue with your spouse in front of the children. If they are sleeping, argue quietly. Children may feel insecure and fearful when they hear parents bickering. In addition, children will learn to argue with each other the same way they hear their parents argue with each other. Show them that when people disagree, they can discuss their differences peacefully.

Conclusively, being a parent can be one of the most rewarding and fulfilling experiences of your life, but that doesn't mean it's easy. No matter what age your child/children is/are, your work is never done. To be a good parent, you need to know how to make your children feel valued and loved, while teaching them the difference between right and wrong. At the end of the day, the most important thing is to create a nurturing environment where your children feel like they can thrive and develop into confident, independent, and caring adults.

Christian Couples And In- Laws

Father, help couples to treat their in-laws with the fear of God.

MEMORY VERSE: "And Boaz answered and said unto her, It hath fully been shewed me, all that thou hast done unto thy mother in law since the death of thine husband; and how thou hast left thy father and thy mother, and the land of thy nativity, and art come unto a people which thou knewest not heretofore". Ruth 2:11.  


Now it came to pass, in the days when the judges ruled, that there was a famine in the land. And a certain man of Bethlehem, Judah, went to dwell in the country of Moab, he and his wife and his two sons.
The name of the man [was] Elimelech, the name of his wife [was] Naomi, and the names of his two sons [were] Mahlon and Chilion -- Ephrathites of Bethlehem, Judah. And they went to the country of Moab and remained there.
Then Elimelech, Naomi's husband, died; and she was left, and her two sons.
Now they took wives of the women of Moab: the name of the one [was] Orpah, and the name of the other Ruth. And they dwelt there about ten years.
Then both Mahlon and Chilion also died; so the woman survived her two sons and her husband.
Then she arose with her daughters-in-law that she might return from the country of Moab, for she had heard in the country of Moab that the LORD had visited His people by giving them bread.
Therefore she went out from the place where she was, and her two daughters-in-law with her; and they went on the way to return to the land of Judah.
And Naomi said to her two daughters-in-law, "Go, return each to her mother's house. The LORD deal kindly with you, as you have dealt with the dead and with me.
"The LORD grant that you may find rest, each in the house of her husband." Then she kissed them, and they lifted up their voices and wept.
And they said to her, "Surely we will return with you to your people."
But Naomi said, "Turn back, my daughters; why will you go with me? [Are] there still sons in my womb, that they may be your husbands?
"Turn back, my daughters, go -- for I am too old to have a husband. If I should say I have hope, [if] I should have a husband tonight and should also bear sons,
"would you wait for them till they were grown? Would you restrain yourselves from having husbands? No, my daughters; for it grieves me very much for your sakes that the hand of the LORD has gone out against me!"
Then they lifted up their voices and wept again; and Orpah kissed her mother-in-law, but Ruth clung to her.
And she said, "Look, your sister-in-law has gone back to her people and to her gods; return after your sister-in-law."
But Ruth said: "Entreat me not to leave you, [Or to] turn back from following after you; For wherever you go, I will go; And wherever you lodge, I will lodge; Your people [shall be] my people, And your God, my God.
Where you die, I will die, And there will I be buried. The LORD do so to me, and more also, If [anything but] death parts you and me."
When she saw that she was determined to go with her, she stopped speaking to her.

Christian couples are expected to live according to the dictates of God's word. For instance, the bible tells us that a man should leave his parents and cleave to his wife. Gen. 2:24. This shows that a line must be drawn between the families from which both parents originated and the new family the couple is building. However, bible admonishes us to honour our parents. Exodus 20:12; Deut.5:16 and do good to all men especially the members of our household. Gal.6:10. It should be noted that in-laws are people related to us by marriage and we should deal with them with godly wisdom. James 3:17.


i. The farewell speech of Naomi elicited sympathy from her daughter in-law, Orphah and Ruth. Both women from the country of Moab (Ruth 1:4) lifted up their voices and wept  Ruth 1:9-14.

ii. In their sympathy, both women wept, kissed their mother-in-law and promised to return to Judah with their mother-in-law. Ruth 1:9-10.

iii. But soon, one of the women, Ruth empathized Naomi hopeless condition and saw light in the cloud of emptiness. She WA's moved to declined the offer to return to Moab. She made up her mind to go to Judah where God has visited the people with abundance and she said, I will lodge where you lodge....your God will be my God. Ruth 1:6,16-17.

iv. The other woman, Orpah was beclouded with reality of sympathy. She must have concluded that truly, the situation was hopeless as posited by Naomi. She decided to go back to Moab and that was the end that was ever heard about her. Ruth 1:14.

v. But for Ruth, a new story line has just begun. Because she was steadfastly minded (Ruth 1:18), her story lingered on to New Testament and till today. God granted her true rest according to Naomi's prayer. Matt. 1:5; Ruth 1:9

1. Build a cordial relationship
2. The thin line


i. Teacher should sample the kind of relationship which exists in our society between the spouses and in-laws.
ii. Teacher should use Ruth & Naomi's relationship to buttress the scriptural pattern of relationship between spouses and their in-law.  
iii. Teacher should enumerate some guidelines which can foster good relationship between spouses and their in-law as indicated below:

a. Avoid preconceptions: Do relate with your in-laws from a biased perspective. Be open in your dealings with them. Rom. 12:10,16; 1Peter 3:8

b. Avoid acting like strangers: Do well to let your in-laws see you as another child of theirs and not a stranger. Prov.18:24; John 15:15.

c. Avoid damaging rules: Make sure you avoid rules that can destroy the relationship with your in-laws. (1Tim. 5:1-2). Be wise in all decisions relating to your in-laws especially in speech. Psalm 34:13; Col. 4:6.

d. Treat in-laws as important people and avoid strife.( Phil. 2:3). Exhibit maturity and patience with in-laws. 2Cor. 6:4.

e. Remain humble and encourage mutual submission. 1Pet. 5:5; Eph. 5:21.

f. Always seek peace and pursue it
Psalms 34:14; Rom.12:18
Identify advantages/benefits of relating well with in-laws.


The following guidelines would help parents or in-laws in their relationship with their sons/daughters in marriage:

i. In-laws to give breathing space to their married sons or daughters to enable them build a godly home. Col. 3:21.

ii. External interference should be avoided or be kept at lowest level. Matt. 19:4-6.

iii. In-laws can give godly counsels to their married sons and daughters without imposing their views  Eph. 6:4; Prov. 11:14; 19:20-21.

iv. In-laws can support their children in prayers. 1Tim.2:1

v. Couple should be allowed to take their own decisions.  

Class should discuss why it is important to allow couples to take decisions on matters that bother their families.

Christian couples should dignify their in-laws with respect and honour while the in-laws too should reciprocate same gesture.

Christian couples must relate with their in-laws in love and as light/salt of the world( Matt. 5:13-14).
Live at peace and remain humble at all times  Hebrews 12:14.

Father, help our in-laws and spouses to maintain scriptural-based cordial relationship with appropriate caution.

Identity five(5) things that can cause disaffection between in-laws and their married sons and daughters. Two mark for each points


1. O Sunday School, on the Lord's day,
O how I love Thee well,
I am happy, it makes me glad
To rejoice at Thy birth.

2. O Sunday School, on the Lord's day,
Thy friend friendship suits me well,
Both young and old will sing Thy song,
We long for Sunday School.

3. O Sunday School, on the Lord's day,
Christ was Thy first teacher,
The Holy Spirit, great teacher,
Does manifest in thee.

4. O Sunday School, on the Lord's day,
This testimony is sure,
That God, the Father Almighty,
Poured His blessing on Thee.

5. O Sunday School, on the Lord's day,
Though the sun be so bright,
Or if the clouds be black with rain,
I'll be in Sunday School.

6. O Sunday School, on the Lord's day,
I rejoice to see Thee,
Will thou pass over me today?
Without my being blest?

Reference: RCCG Sunday School Teacher's Manual Lesson Twenty- Two,  2018/2019 Session.

Causes of Marriage Delay in Some Single Sisters

There are some factors which is referred here as spirit that has made many single sisters from getting the right man. Here comes six areas or spirit why many single sisters are yet to get a suitable life partner;
  • Denominational/tribal spirit:  I'm a Catholic and must marry a
Catholic. Your villagers are really at work. I'm a deeper lifer and must marry one whose life is also deep. I'm a Chosen and must marry from Chosen because others were rejected . I'm an Anglican and must marry an Anglican even if God is leading me to do otherwise. I'm from Hausa tribe and must marry from my tribe. I'm from Imo and must not marry from Abia. If you have prayed and convinced don't hesitate to go ahead.

This spirit has kept many bound, they entered menopause and are about to retire to village. To cast out this spirit of delay, understand that every believer is from one tribe called Christ. If God is leading you to another denomination,  kindly obey Him, but let it be God.

  • Proud spirit:  That spirit that tells you to always run home
after service so that no brother will talk to you, maybe he'll meet you in the dream. Before the brother would prepare what to say, you have gone home to study Malachi.

That spirit that tells you that every brother that greets you has an evil intention, so don't answer them. That spirit that doesn't allow you to greet brothers except those that ride cheap and exotic cars. That spirit that tells you to be walking fast every time as if something is pursuing you from the back. Well, I don't know how you can cast out this spirit o, but I think humility and being moderate might help.

  • Dirtiness. That spirit that tells you not to dress well because
you are going to heaven. It tells you to use tarpaulin to sew your dress, wear green skirt, yellow blouse and lemon head tie. When brothers see you, their nightmare will increase and they will go for personal deliverance. You are a lady but dresses like a man; you don't brush your tongue, when you talk the heaven closes and the earth trembles.

This spirit can only be cast out by understanding that cleanliness is next to godliness. Dress well, don't under dress and don't over dress. Dress modestly, smell good because it's not sin. Smell like a living being and not a dead being. Jesus appreciated the woman that broke the oil that smells good and truly He enjoyed the aroma. So which Jesus did you actually accept that abhors such?

  • Boy friend: This is that spirit that will keep scaring away
serious and well-meaning suitors because they'll be thinking that the boyfriend that always hangs around you actually wanted to marry you. To cast out this spirit, you don't need to pray about it. Just quit the relationship.

  • Engagement ring: This is that spirit that makes you keep
raising your finger to show the world that one young man that is still serving the master engaged you and when the serious suitors see the ring, they'll pass over you because something in them tells them you have been engaged. To cast out this spirit, you don't need prayers, just remove that key holder in your finger.
  • Hard to get: This is that spirit that tells you not to accept a
marriage proposal in a hurry so that the brother will not think you were too cheap or desperate. It tells you to tell him to give you six months to pray, don't always pick his calls, behave as if you are not interested even though you are dying on the inside and truly loves the brother.

To cast out this spirit, just be real. If you love the brother and you perceive he's God's will for you, just accept the proposal and move on with your marriage.