TEN MAJOR CAUSES OF CHILDREN SEXUAL ABUSE

Permit me yo begin my teaching this way. Rachael had her armbrands on and was ready for action; it was perfect swimming conditions. She was the six, but as far she was concerned, she was brilliant at swimming and would win medals when she was older!

She was told by her parents not to swim out to sea only to paddle. But she stomped off away from them. What did they know? She waded in past her waist, and launched out doggy paddling away.

After  a while she turned back, and couldn’t believe what she saw -everyone was very small and getting smaller. The current was taking her out to sea

Thankfully, someone swam out to rescue. Rachael and brought her safely to shore. As they stood on the beach, she caught sight of her mum -she looked so worried and upset. At that moment,  Rachael realised two things ; that her swimming career would have to wait for a bit and that next time she would listen to her parents.

Rachel was determined not to listen to her parents, but what was behind their rule and ones in the below  Bible passage;

18:If someone has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother and will not listen to them when they discipline him, 19 :his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him to the elders at the gate of his town. 20:They shall say to the elders, “This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a glutton and a drunkard.” 21 :Then all the men of his town are to stone him to death. You must purge the evil from among you. All Israel will hear of it and be afraid. [ Deuteronomy 31:18-21]

Here are some of the major causes of sexual childten abuse at home;

                  1.INDECENT DRESSING
In the name of modern lifestyle we use indecent dressing to destroy our children. Predators are not only outside, many of them are inside the house with us. We don’t care what our children, especially our daughters wear at home.

Some of them move around the house half naked in the presence of their “hot-blooded” brothers and probably other extended family members. Remember I said that emotions and arousals are controlled by hormones and often do not know who is a brother or sister.
                 2.THE TYPE OF FILM WE WATCH
We encourage sex abuse through the type of films we watch in our homes. We are meant to be good examples. Therefore we cannot say that the kids should not watch those X-rated films when we ourselves watch them. If they don’t watch it when we are there they will try to see what is in it when we are away.

               3.LACK OF SEX EDUCATION
Parents do not teach their children sex education early enough. At times we forget that emotions are controlled by hormones, and as such do not know who is a blood relation or a distant acquaintance. We underestimate the force of attraction that exists between siblings, especially in their teen years when they have the greatest emotional and sexual urge.

That is why, like in the case above, a parent will allow two teenagers of the opposite sex to share the same bed in the same room all alone. Imagine the teen boy waking up early in the morning with full erection, which is not out of place at that age and the first sight that greets him is the nude, succulent body of his sister sleeping carelessly with her silky night gown raised up to her chest. And he sees this almost every day.

We allow our children to be too close with each other without caution. There are cases where parents allow siblings to dress or undress before each other all in the name that they are brother and sister. What an error!

                4.UNCONSCIOUS PROMOTION OF SEX ABUSE
Some parents unconsciously promote sex abuse by their own actions. For instance, daddy sits wearing a very short boxers or walks bare-chested in the house with his young daughters around him. Mummy on the other hand ties wrapper above her chest and sits carelessly, sometimes letting the wrapper fall off without showing any sign of concern.

As if that is not enough, she puts on her clothes half way and asks her son to help her hook her bra or zip up her blouse. While nothing may go wrong between you and the child, you arouse the child’s emotions and leave him or her burning with passion and erotic imaginations. That is abuse of the mind and emotion of the child. And when such feelings build up to an uncontrollable level it finds expression through any available channel.

                 5.MOUTH KISSING
How about mouth kissing? I don’t know what to say to parents who kiss their children on the lips. You are destroying that child. You are teaching that child that whoever says he loves you can kiss you to express his love. And of course they have come to believe that nothing can go wrong just by kissing, after all nothing went wrong when you kissed them.

     6.UNLIMITED & UNCONTROLLED ACCESS TO THE INTERNET
We give children unlimited and uncontrolled access to the internet. And after watching only God-knows-what into the middle of the night after you have gone to bed they retire into the privacy of their room to sleep alone with their siblings.

                7.FRIENDS OUR CHILDREN KEEPS
We are careless with the kind of friends our children keep. Do you know that some of the boys who come “to look for your son” are actually there because of your daughter? The same thing applies to your daughter’s visitors. Some of them use your daughter as an excuse to have access to your son. Your children know this and plan out their way very well to protect each other’s interest – right under your nose.


            
     8.CARELESS, STUPID & EROTIC PLAY



We allow careless, stupid and erotic playing among our children. Some parents don’t see the need to rebuke their children if they catch them touching each other in unseemly ways. They assume that they are just kids and will stop it as they grow older.


                9.UNDELIBRATE PARENTAL ACTIONS
There is also the case of parents who do not know the difference between bedroom talks, deeds or actions and talks that are meant for the public. They engage in romantic displays at the full glare of their children. Some of them will tell you that they want the children to know that they love each other or that they are teaching their children how to love their spouse when they grow up and get married. Please spare your children, especially the teenagers the embarrassment caused by your open romantic episodes.

  10.NEGLIGENCE OF DUTIES
Time and space shall fail me to talk about the numerous ills we bring upon ourselves when we abdicate our duties as women to house helps and other domestic servants. I have seen cases where mothers allow house boys to bath their baby girls or nannies to bath their sons without supervision.




Do you know how many children have been abused through that means? And once they start they may never stop. Dear mum, even your husband who is the father of your daughter should not bath your four year old daughter for you. You may say I am an extremist but I know what I am talking about.

Some time ago a friend told me that a mother came to her crying because her four year old daughter told her that the “father” molested her while bathing her the other day the mum went to the market.

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